Just a Platypus
by phinflynn
Summary: Oh, Perry? He's just a platypus. They don't do much. They especially don't catch you making out with your brother and freak out about it. Phinerb, slight Doofenperry. Perry's POV.


**So I wrote a second fic!**

**I've noticed a lot of focus on Candace and Isabella's reactions to Phineas and Ferb's relationship. I love those stories, but what about Perry? He's intelligent, he'll have his own opinions, right? Besides, I love the little guy.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Perry had worried for them, in the beginning.

He was the only one who knew for such a long time. And why not? He was just a platypus; they didn't do much. They certainly didn't catch you kissing your brother and judge you for it. How could they? Platypi were such simple creatures.

They never felt the need to hide themselves around him.

And it had deeply disturbed him at first. Vividly he could recall the day he had come into their room, intent upon chewing on a pillow until he was fed, and suddenly being met with the sight of Phineas shoving his tongue down Ferb's throat. He had stood perfectly still as they tugged each other's hair and whispered amorously between kisses. And then Phineas turned to him, and as if nothing was wrong, he simply said, "Oh, there you are, Perry!"

Perry had never wished so fervently that he was _not_ there.

He had wondered, for a time, if perhaps he had walked in on something that wouldn't happen again. Maybe it was an invention of theirs. Maybe it was a dare. Maybe Doofenshmirtz had done something. His head was filled with maybes as his owners went about their days as though nothing were amiss. But of course, as the weeks went by, he saw more and more of their closeness, and over time he was able to piece together the basic gist of how it had happened - puberty combined with their own natural chemistry had just pushed them together. Since he would never be able to ask for more detail, that was as much as he was likely to know.

Over time Perry found himself disappearing on days even when Doofenshmirtz was up to nothing. It just bothered him too much, too deeply, to be in their bedroom when they were a tangled mess of limbs muttering fervent 'I love you's. It wasn't that he was disgusted - he was merely upset, and worried. This would be bad for them. It would hurt them. It would change everything, and his wonderful little family would split right down the middle. There was no way it could go right, and this terrified him. They didn't know what they were doing.

He could be strong in the face of many situations. He was, after all, Secret Agent Perry the Platypus. But the thought of losing his family would always send tremors through his body. If this went wrong, he might as well lose them; there was no telling of the bonds that would be severed, not just between Phineas and Ferb, but between them and the other members of the house.

Some days, Perry went to Doofenshmirtz's apartment just to be sure he was even less likely to run into his boys and have to face the issue. His nemesis was surprised by these visits, and even more so by the fact that his little platypus rival seemed more interested in curling up in a ball on the couch than trying to foil anything (not that there was anything to foil on many of those days). Perry could see that Doof was actually a little worried about him; it was nice to have someone react to his emotions. He felt he had no one else in the entire world to help him in this time of weakness. The other O.W.C.A. agents, after all, could not put their large hands on his body and talk to him until he fell asleep and forgot his worries for another day.

But there were only so many times he could do this. He still had to be home, still had to be the family pet. No matter his worries, no matter how emotionally troubled he felt, he had to protect his people from the various dangers of Danville. In the end he was glad he was able to do so - it was in putting himself in that situation that led an eventual understanding and the ability to come to terms with his fears.

One night, after a long day of staring hopelessly out of Doofenshmirtz's window while his nemesis droned on and on about something that had happened in the past, Perry ended up in Phineas and Ferb's bedroom while the two were elsewhere in the house. He was busy digging around under one of the beds for some food he had seen Ferb drop the night before. While perfectly capable of going to a five star restaurant if he pleased, Perry was still content nibbling on the leftovers of his family. As he searched for the morsel, he heard the door open, heard the double footsteps of his boys, and looked up apprehensively as the bed creaked under their weight. He had been trying to avoid this.

"Do you ever think we're gonna have to come out with this? You know, just tell everyone?"

_Oh no_, Perry thought, his stomach sinking.

There was silence from Ferb, as always, and Perry listened as Phineas went on.

"I mean, I'm okay with this, the way it is, but... you know, sometimes I just wanna do what comes naturally in public. It's kinda weird reminding myself to stop and think before I hold your hand."

"We do live in a rather accepting area," came Ferb's voice, many octaves lower and with the same British tint as Lawrence's.

"Accepting or not, the people closest to us will be pretty freaked out, don't you think?" The worry in Phineas's voice bothered Perry deeply. As much as he didn't like this, his boys would always come first, and it pained him to hear Phineas talking like that.

He hesitated, then backed out from under the bed and chattered loudly to announce his presence.

"Oh, there you are, Perry," Phineas observed with much less enthusiasm than usual, and before Perry could even attempt to climb on the bed, he was being lifted into the air and set down in the small gap between the two boys.

He blinked, then took in the scene before him. While their hips were apart, allowing him enough room to comfortably sit between them, their shoulders were touching and Ferb was resting his head on top of Phineas's. Perry attempted to keep his expression neutral as the gravity of the situation sank into him once more. He was just a platypus. Just a simple platypus with no emotions whatsoever.

"At least we have Perry," Phineas said with a small smile as he ran his hand over their pet's head. "He'll never stop loving us."

Well, that was true, at least.

"Phineas," Ferb murmured, tone chastising. "Don't you ever think that anyone will stop loving us for this."

Perry chattered softly. He could agree with that as well. There might be anger... dismay... but never hatred. He knew everyone in his boys' lives very well. They were not spiteful people.

Phineas sighed and looked over at his brother with an expression that conveyed the deep fear in his aching heart, a fear that perfectly mimicked Perry's own worries, the platypus realized. In that moment he understood that his red headed boy was not rushing into this as a lust-blinded teenager - he was rushing into it as _Phineas, _the optimistic problem-solver who always followed his heart.

"Even if they don't hate us," he whispered, "they'll see us differently. I guess... I guess I'm afraid of that. I don't want them to think we've changed. Nothing's changed."

Ferb, ever silent, merely pulled his brother closer and gently pet his hair.

A wave of guilt washed over Perry as this depressing scene unfolded before him. He had been so wrapped up in his own misgivings that he had failed to consider that Phineas and Ferb might be just as worried about all of this as he was. As they should be. He looked down in shame as he realized that he had actually thought his boys were unprepared for this. It wasn't them he needed to worry about... it was everyone else.

In a sudden rush of determination and love, Perry stood up and carefully climbed over the limbs of his boys until he was close enough to lay on Ferb's chest and put his head under Phineas's neck.

"Aww, Perry," Phineas cooed affectionately. "Don't worry, boy, we'll be okay. I mean, we always are, right?" Perry glanced up as Phineas looked over at Ferb for reassurance. There was no reply, but when the platypus lowered his head again he heard the distinct sound of sloppy teenage kissing. He shuddered out of habit.

"I love you so much," he heard Ferb whisper, and he closed his eyes as the boys moved even closer and embraced with him right in the middle. Perry allowed himself to relax, and he told himself that this _would _be okay, and he could trust Phineas and Ferb to handle this with the care it deserved.

"Look at him, he's going to sleep," Phineas chuckled softly. "You like cuddling, huh Perry? Or do you just have a thing for romance?"

There were hands on him again, from both of them this time. The platypus let out a gentle sigh and wiggled his body a little so he was nestled perfectly against his boys, determined to never be apart from them again - well, until Doofenshmirtz needed to be foiled. In any case, he wouldn't leave just to be away from them. They needed _someone _who would be there, someone to appreciate their feelings for one another.

"Everything _will_ be okay," insisted Ferb. "There's nothing we can't do if we set our minds to it."

Phineas laughed, and Perry was relieved to hear actual mirth in it. "Maybe we should just build another machine! I bet you could come up with something that would make everything work out."

"Perhaps a device that makes people positively giddy around any sort of romance."

Perry sighed again and allowed the exhaustion of the day to sink into him. It felt good to not have to pick between them for once; he liked being with them both at the same time, especially while he slept. Maybe this would be a change for the better. Maybe... this was just how it was supposed to be.

As sleep began to overtake his mind, Perry could hear the warm voice of Phineas above him, bubbling with excitement and adoration.

"Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today..."

..

"Ah, Perry the platypus!"

Instead of adopting a fighting stance, Perry merely waved, then walked further into the apartment and hopped up onto the couch.

Heinz Doofenshmirtz closed the front door and walked over to stand near his nemesis. "You know, Perry the platypus, at first I was a little weirded out by these visits, but I'm kind of starting to enjoy them!"

Perry looked up at him and blinked.

"Ah, but where are my manners," Doofenshmirtz went on. "Would you like anything? Coffee, maybe? Oh, I've got these doughnuts from a new shop that just opened downtown, they're absolutely delicious! You must try one, Perry the platypus."

The supposedly evil scientist walked out of the room, and Perry grabbed the remote from the coffee table and switched on the television. If he recalled correctly, one of his favorite soap operas was coming on about now and it had been a while since he'd had time to catch up.

Doof returned with a box of doughnuts and set them down on the table before joining his nemesis on the couch. The agent glanced up at him again, then took the glazed doughnut that was handed to him and nibbled cautiously on the edge. It tasted good, so he gave Doofenshmirtz a thumbs up before scarfing it down.

"Manners, Perry the platypus," the scientist chided. "Chew with your mouth closed."

Perry chattered apologetically.

There was a comfortable silence between them for a few minutes as they watched the soap opera together and ate more of the sticky pastries sitting on the coffee table. When commercials came on, Doofenshmirtz broke the silence.

"Sooo, Perry the platypus," he began, hands clasped together as he grinned at his nemesis. "You seem much more chipper today! Has your life finally taken a turn for the better?"

Perry thought back to his night with the boys. Yes, his life definitely had taken a turn for the better. He was coming to terms with the fact that his owners were truly happy, and they would be able to handle themselves no matter what happened. He still worried, of course, but much less now. He believed in Phineas and Ferb. He trusted them.

So in response, he smiled up at his nemesis.

"That's wonderful!" Doof exclaimed. "You're so hard to be around when you're sad, Perry the platypus. You're just not _you._ And to be perfectly honest you're the only platypus I'm close to, and when you're not you it's just not very comfortable." He paused, then put his hands on his hips and looked down at Perry. "Wait. If you're happy, why are you here? I thought that was the only reason you were coming over."

Perry blinked slowly, then reached over to take another doughnut. He chewed it carefully as they maintained eye contact.

Then Doofenshmirtz grinned as wide as he could and scooped his nemesis into his arms.

"Oh, I knew you loved me, Perry the platypus!" he gushed as Perry struggled in his grip. "It _is_ about more than just the foiling! You really care!"

The platypus spit out the rest of his doughnut and growled.

"Oh, don't be like that," Doof went on as he set Perry down in his lap. "It's okay, Perry the platypus, I enjoy your company too. You're the best nemesis I've ever had! I mean, I've only ever had one other nemesis. Well, two, if you count Planty the potted plant. But my point is..."

Perry sighed heavily as Doofenshmirtz went on, finding himself reluctantly relaxing as the large hand on his back affectionately pet him from head to tail.

He should have worried more about _himself, _he realized in shame. He knew less about romance than his boys did.

_Looks like I'll need that new invention of theirs,_ Perry thought as his nemesis massaged his shoulder blades.


End file.
